Happy New Year!! 2014!!

New Years Eve for me is a time to reflect on the year that has passed, and determined how I might go about doing things a little different in the year to come!  When I think of 2013 the first thing that comes to mind is support.  I am so very lucky to have so many wonderful friends and a fantastic family.

The first morning of 2013 I remember sitting on the couch with my husband talking about all the great things that were to come.  There were whispers of Brandon looking to leave UPS, all the fun milestones that Anna would accomplish, and I promised myself that Anna and I would make friends that we could get out and explore Atlanta with.  Looking back we did exactly what we set out to do!  Although I knew Eve from work and knew she was an awesome lady I never knew that she would be one of my dearest mommy friends that I would connect with and confide in.  Then I met Lynsey and wow I never could have imagined how much laughter she would bring into my life.  These two ladies brought me back to life, I had somehow managed to loose myself in the world of washing diapers and pumping milk.  Their little girls also brought out the best in Anna.  Anna learned to walk this year, has expanded her vocabulary to more than just MA, and is a master at her fine motor skills.  Brandon after 20 years at UPS went to work for Home Depot which brought us to Alabama.  When the year began we couldn't have imagined that my uncle would pass away, we would loose a very close friend unexpectedly, Brandon would beat Melanoma for a second time, and I would begin my battle against breast cancer.  We did it all together, the good and the bad, making our marriage even stronger.

Breast Cancer for five months has been my focus, I sometimes feel like I eat and breath it.  I am reminded every time I pass a mirror, I put on a bra, or do something as simple as check my calendar which is dotted with doctors appointments and chemo dates.  On August 9th, 2013 my life changed forever with one phone call.  I am reminded I have cancer frequently, but it is really a reminder to seize the moment.  Tell my friends and family I love them.  Sit in the floor Anna and pretend to eat play dough, or take the stairs one step at a time bumping my rear on each one saying boom.  Kiss my husband when he least expects it.  Throw the dogs toy until she collapses from exhaustion.  Enjoy my tea while it is hot and talk with my mom.  Breast cancer has reminded me to slow down and enjoy the little things.

I have completed 4 AC treatments and 7 Taxol treatments.  2014 leaves me with just 5 Taxol treatments and surgery most likely the last week of February.  I have had some neuropathy in both my hands and feet from my Taxol treatments, but have found that Glutamine ( THANK YOU Tara, my breast cancer bosom buddy, who suggested this to me) has helped reduce the aching and pain I was having to a third to what it was.  I no longer feel like curling up in the corner and hiding.  Side effects, treatments, and all that goes along with this seems like a blink in the grand scheme of a long life to live.

I wish you all a very HAPPY NEW YEAR filled with laughter, love, and good health.  I hope you all slow down and enjoy the little moments and remember to tell your friends and family you love them.  Thank you so much for you all your prayers, good juju, happy dances, and support.  Love you all!

p.s. Thank you for all the wonderful Christmas cards I received in the mail this month, everyday was a true surprise of who might have reached out.  Nothing better than opening the mail box and finding a little note!  I am constantly reminded how wonderful and supportive people of every facet of my life are.

3 Down 9 To Go!! Happy Thanksgiving!!

So I have let some time slip by without posting anything.  Now where to begin?  A lot has happened in the past five weeks or so.  Chemo, good news and interesting news from the doctor, company, and last but not least a little time to enjoy life.

I finished up my final AC treatment, but the red devil wasn't going out without a fight!  I came down with an infection and ran a fever for three days plus some other unmentionables.  Nothing like getting beat down and turning around to start a new weekly treatment.  I have now completed my third treatment of Taxol.  The side effects are nothing but a nusicance.  Muscle and joint pain are less than desirable, and with every treatment I take a get just a little more tired.  Still in good spirits and love waking up every morning to the sounds of Brandon and Anna playing!  Those two are something else together.

Taxol Week 1

Taxol Week 2

Taxol Week 3

When I met with my Oncologist last week,she measured my tumor which originally was around 1.8-1.6cm and is now 0.5cm.  I love progress!!  I also had a telephone consult with the Geneticist which informed me that I tested negative for all 16 known hereditary genes that cause breast cancer.  This is bitter sweet.  Sweet because it decreases Anna's chances of developing breast cancer by 50%, something to celebrate.  Bitter because we have no idea why I developed breast cancer.  Is it something I have eaten, drank, or environmental.  I was thrilled the test worked, because as easy as it sounds to sit and spit into two test tubes and fill them each almost full it is much harder than you think and nothing I want to do again any time soon.

I had a wonderful visit from my dear friend, Kate.  It was so great to visit and lounge!  Sharif even came over one night and watched a movie with us.  Not quite a complete family night, missing Sura, Mark, and Ryan!  My wonderful step-dad made it in town for Thanksgiving and so did my awesome step-brother Dan.  So happy to have them here.  This past Sunday we had an early Thanksgiving with the Danna, Mike, Nick, and Jenny.  We missed you Drew, would have made it perfect to have you here.  So sad to see them leave, but it was a great visit complete with an Anna style tea party, football, and a few good laughs.  A big thanks to them for humoring me and taking a family picture in the freezing and windy weather!

What tea party isn't complete without Texas Pete??

Anna was so proud that Papa Mike wanted some tea!

The Pre-Thanksgiving Crew
Don (Gramps) w/ Brewster, Mom (Nana) w/ Little Bear, Aunt Jenny, Nick (Uncle Nick), Dana (Grandmommy),
Mike (Papa Mike), Anna, Brandon and I.  We missed you Drew (Uncle Drew).
(Shannon thank you for my Greek Goddess hat, and Kelly thank you for my scarf!)

In the midst of everything Mom and I started decorating for Christmas, yes I know it is before Thanksgiving.  However, I am not the most energetic person so we are doing it slowly and we do this when Anna is asleep to avoid mass destruction and chaos.  We have also taken time for tea, daughter-mom talks ( I love these moments), and to smell the flowers.  Even got to watch the sun go down from the car one night, a big thanks to my mom for teaching me to appreciate the little things in life at an early age.

Thank you Heather for the perfect cup!!  I know you are all enjoying the plethera of items on my night stand.  The orange crayon is probably my favorite.  You will also find a lot of pills, a casuality of cancer, my daily devotional, doctors bills that never stop coming, and a notepad that I write everything on since my memory is shot!
 A snapshot of my life =)

It was a great sunset. Wish the lighting at been better, the leaves were really pretty before the rain and wind came.

Children really do remind you to enjoy the simple pleasures in life!

I hope that everyone is surrounded this Thanksgiving by their friends and family!  This Thanksgiving I have so much to be thankful for and this wonderful life that I have been blessed with.  I am thankful for you all and all the happiness you each have brought and bring into my life!

One Block Closer To Cancer Free Street!!!

LAST AC TREATMENT!!!  Can you tell me how to get, how to get to Cancer Free Street?  I skipped in to my last treatment of AC. I dressed up as Elmo, my staple costume but always makes people smile.  I am now 100% done with the red devil!!!

My amazing oncology nurses giving me the last of the "Red Devil"!

 My amazing and most supportive husband!!  Every step of the way he has been by my side!

The past two weeks have been busy.  My Dad came to visit for a few days.  It was so great to see him.  We even got to go out to eat one day while he was here.  A lot of couch time and sitting on the back porch taking in the wonderful fall weather over good conversation.

Brandon, Nana aka Mom, Anna, and I loaded up in the car and traveled down to St. Marys, GA last weekend.  For those of you with small children, you know traveling at night is the only way to do it, it was our first time making the trip from Birmingham.  It was a dark trip, few street lights, and more deer than you could imagine.
It was a fantastic weekend getting to see some of the most wonderful friends that one could hope to have; and celebrate the upcoming marriage of two of the most amazing people, Ashley Packard and Jordan Pierce!  I have no doubt in my mind they have found their forever match, true love!


We enjoyed the time away and change of scenery.  Downtown boasted the most precious scare crows, but Linda Williams took first place in our books (if you live in St. Mary's I highly recommend her for city council, don't forget to vote)!  We got to take time to have lunch at Riverside Cafe and play at the park.  Love small town life!

It was Mom's first time being home since the beginning of July, I know it must have been so hard for her to leave to come back with us.  At least this time she has more than a weeks worth of clothes with her.  I am forever grateful for all she has done for myself, Anna, Brandon, and Little Bear.  She has cooked, cleaned, nurtured, and been the strongest when things were difficult to come to terms with.  I hope that I can be just half the mom she is to me.  Love you Mama!!

On my good days I love to take full advantage of them.  This means making homemade cookies and eating as much dough as we can!  Anna is the best kitchen helper.  We also had a play date.  The wonderful people that we purchased our house from, their daughter-in-law and granddaughter came over.  It was great conversation and Anna so enjoyed being around someone her age.

Yummy!  I do know that Anna is very dirty, just before this picture we completed her favorite activity.. watering the flowers.  Watering flowers at our house also means a little digging in the dirt.

After treatment on Thursday I rested up, and mustard up enough energy to take a few photos and take Anna to three houses for her first trick or treating experience.  She was a little confused at first.  She wanted to give the candy back and go into our neighbors' houses for a visit.  Silly girl.  I let time get away and didn't have time to get a new outfit together for Anna, she was a repeat of last year.  Anna the Bumble Bee!  So happy that I bought her costume a little bigger than needed!  A special thanks to my mother-in-law aka Grandmommy for coming in town to help out with Anna and take her trick or treating!

  

I feel so relieved to have completed the final dose of the "Red Devil" a.k.a AC treatment!  I start my next treatment 11/14/13 of Paclitaxel a.k.a Taxol.  Some of the symptoms are hair loss (don't have to worry about this one), finger and toe nail loss, and muscle and joint pain.  I will go every week for 12 weeks, seems like such a short amount of time in a long life to live.  Met with my oncologist, Dr. Atkinson, after my treatment on Thursday.  She measured my tumor before we began treatment, to touch it was 2 cm. and now it is 0.8cm.  TREATMENT IS WORKING!   Dr. Atkinson is very positive about how I have done and seems very optimistic I will handle the next round of treatment well!

Thank you all for your continued prayers, support, love, good juju, happy dances, and positive vibes!!  I am so fortunate to have you all in my life!   

Number 3 and #PinkWeekend

Treatment 3 is done!  I couldn't be more excited about being 75% done with the more difficult part of this cancer killing regiment.  I am learning to embrace all the symptoms with the mindset that any level of discomfort is killing cancer!

Chemotherapy is very reminiscent of Pregnancy: fatigue you cant shake, nausea, insomnia, hot flashes, and cravings.  My motto during pregnancy was to eat through the nausea, so why not do what works?!  I have a list of new favorite foods.  They are cravings like pregnancy, however they are much greasier as if to cure the worst hangover and pregnancy at the same time.  Thank God I have the most amazing husband that is willing to venture out into the greater Birmingham Area to find the foods I crave at all hours of the day and night. 1) Krystals - The Sack Full so I can heat up the leftovers.  2)Waffle House- BLT with hashbrowns diced, smothered, and covered.  3) Captain D's - four piece fish meal with extra malt vinager. 4) KFC- Cole Slaw.  5) LoftHouse Sugar Cookies  6)Strawberry Shortcake Icecream Bars.
Unfortunately, to make way for new favorite foods I have had to exile some old friends; meatloaf, pirates booty, and green apples.  I am beginning to think that I am going to be one of the only Chemo patients to gain weight, especially now that I have some fancy mouth wash and pills to help with the mouth sores.  If you are wondering what I am doing, just living the cancer killing life sleeping and eating.

This past weekend was the Susan G. Komen race for the cure.  It was an emotional event.  People fighting, surviving, and remembering their loved ones.  I was so lucky to be surrounded by so many friends and family members during this event.  I made it one mile!!  Not very far, but far enough to feel like I did something.  Ashley Packard couldn't have planned the race out and organized everyone any better, it was perfect!!!

   We got to put the Bark Inn to the test for the first time, I think it served us even better than the Dresden Inn did.  Every bedroom was filled, the couch, extra mattress, blow up mattress, and even the laundry room was occupied.  So much love crammed into our house!!  After the race we all came back to the house for hamburgers and hot dogs, then the guys started a game of "soccer" in the pool.  I have yet to figure out how you play soccer in the pool , but sometimes you just need things to ponder.  Just when I thought there couldn't be any more surprises the Ross' Renegade's Ladies (near and far) put together a wonderful hat box full of hats and scarves to keep my bald noggin warm!  With the temperatures dropping this is more than appreciated.  Never realized how much I relied on my hair for warmth.

When the sun went down we had s'mores, told stories, and made new memories.  This was exactly what I needed, the best medicine of all, LAUGHTER!!!!  We were so fortunate to celebrate John Packard's 27th birthday with him, ringing in a great year to come with sparklers and our beautiful voices (haha)! The next morning when Anna got up at 7 AM we were tip toeing through the kitchen, as to not wake anyone, and the laundry room door swung open to find Kenny.  " Don't you know some of us are trying to sleep around here!"  Apparently everyone went to bed and left Kenny on his own to find a place to sleep, no better place than the laundry room curled up with a pillow from the couch and a used beach towel as a blanket.  It was so great to have everyone in town!  As each person drove off I cried like a baby!  Missing everyone, but have loved reminiscing over all the memories!

I am so grateful for so many people that have reached out to me from my past and present!  You are all so amazing and make me feel so encouraged and loved!

Recap through pictures!

Family fun day at the Botanical Gardens in Birmingham before the big move.

Moving day August 26th!

Anna helping check off boxes as they were delivered!

Birthday celebration, August 30th, 4 days after moving in.  I had so many wonderful flowers delivered, Brandon bought me a wonderful James Avery Georgia charm and breast cancer necklace,
Shannon surprised me, and I had a delicious birthday cake! PERFECTION!  Lets get it all done before 30!

Wig shopping with Mom and Anna.  This was the chosen wig.  I have named her Asmerelda.  Not sure how often I will be wearing her as she is a little itchy.  I have also become a little more proficient with styling her.  Synthetic hair is a whole new world!

First treatment, AC Chemo, September 19th in Birmingham, after being diagnosed on  August 9th in Atlanta. We met with a total of  three surgeons, 2 oncologist and 1 radiologist.  Countless tests which included mammograms, ultrasounds, a core biopsy,  Onco Score, MRI, PET Scan, and a genetic test (many of these tests were performed more than once).

A week and a half after treatment my hair started coming out.  First strand by strand and then clumps.  It was time to bid it farewell.  Brandon did a great job shaving my head.  Thanks mom for a pretty darn good shaped head, if I don't mind saying so myself.  I have been using some gel on my eye brows and eye lashes in hopes of preserving them, so far so good!

Second treatment, AC Chemo, on October 3rd.  Half way done with the hard stuff!!!!

Anna, even on the days its hard to motivated myself she is my reason to get up and at 'em!

cheese and anti-razors

I keep searching for the right words to describe everything my family and I have been through to get to this point, but I am really at a loss.  What I can tell you is that without all the words of encouragement, emails, wonderful cards, flowers, care packages, visitors, and most of all prayers, good thoughts, happy dances, and good juju, Breast Cancer would be much harder to tackle.

I hear it all the time and I identify with it, "I never thought I would be diagnosed with cancer." No one ever thinks that they will hear the words from their doctor, "cancer".  What I hoped to be a clump of cheese in my left breast, formed from the mass quantities of milk I produced, was not of the gourmet variety at all.  Please encourage all the women and men in your life to do self breast exams.  If I hadn't done one we wouldn't have caught it at such an early stage, at this point my lymph nodes look clear on ultrasound and MRI, as well as my PET Scan came back clear other than the mass in my left breast.  I am 100% estrogen positive, 92% progesterone positive, and her2 negative.  This means my tumor is extremely hormone driven and that pregnancy accelerated the growth tremendously (it has been speculated I have had cancer for up to 5 years prior to knowing about it). The good news is it I have a very treatable tumor.  For me I relish in the fact that shock is a beautiful thing and allowed me to cope with the news, take care of a toddler, and prepare to move to a new state.  God works in mysterious ways and has placed many people in my path from both the past and present that have helped guide me through uncharted territory. 

I am currently receiving my second treatment of Adriamycin and Cytoxin.  Total I will have four treatments of this.  These particular drugs are the tough ones on your body especially your heart, kidneys, liver, and veins.  And yes it is the stuff that makes your hair fall out.  In my case I only let a little hair fall out.  Brandon had the pleasure of shaving my head.  He did a fantastic job!  I really think he could have a side job shaving heads.  My mom and Anna watched on.  Anna studied every move, hoping she wasn't taking notes to try it on herself in the future.  (I am sure if she does it will be the day before pictures.) After I finish the AC (Adriamycin and Cyotoxin) chemo I will have 12 weekly doses of Paclitaxel (Taxol).  Then I pray that I will be in pathological remission!   One great perk of Chemo is that I no longer has to spend time washing my hair or shaving!!  I really can be ready in 5.  Scared I am going to grow really accustomed to this new way of life!

For those of you who don't know, my mom has been living with us to help out through treatments and surgery when it comes time.  Her husband, has been so amazing and supportive about letting his wonderful wife come and be with us.  It is so nice to have my mom with me through this.  Brandon and her have had some great bonding time and even have a few inside jokes between them now.  Dana, my fantastic mother-in-law, has come to help with Anna and I. Even before treatments her and my father-in-law, Mike, came and helped accomplish somethings that needed to be done at our new house.  We are so blessed to have such an amazing family!   

I know this has been vague, but so much to catch up on and I am just unsure as to where to begin.  I will be more detailed with future posts.  I am open to answer any questions at any level of detail, and if there is anyone in your life that might need guidance through a similar situation I am would be more than happy to help them (I do pray that this offer isn't needed as it is a beast no one should have to tackle).  Wishing everyone a happy start to October and hope you all are enjoying the fall weather as much as we are in Alabama.  Thank you again for all your prayers and encouragement, they really are greatly appreciated and are so uplifting!

Brandon starts the blog

Ok, You can all expect this to be much better after this post. Melissa is having her heart checked, scanned, and then we are off to Chemo. There has been a tremendous outpouring of support for the family during this time and every bit of it is much appreciated! I am going to leave the leave the story up to Melissa, so check back to see how things are going as we put this part of life behind us!